Eros and Thanatos: The Dissolution of the Ego
On the day Aphrodite’s birth the gods were making merry, and among them was Resource [Poros], the son of Craft. And when they had supped, Need came begging at the door because there was good cheer inside. Now, it happened that Resource, having drunk deeply of the heavenly nectar – for this was before the days of wine – wandered into the garden of Zeus and sank into a heavy sleep, and Need [Penia], thinking that to get a child by Resource would mitigate her penury, lay down beside him and in time was brought to bed of Love [Eros]. So Love became the follower and servant of Aphrodite because he was begotten on the same day that she was born, and further, he was born to love the beautiful since Aphrodite is beautiful herself.
(Hamilton and Cairus, 1961, p. 555)
Nature's symmetry extends to the way humans live and think. Just as we discussed symbiosis in the previous entry, it is fascinating to observe its parallels in human existence, particularly in the realm of intimate relationships. Symbiosis, which is often associated with the dissolution of the self, can be a daunting process for sexually reproducing beings like humans. Freud's concept of the "life-drive" (Eros) and the "death-drive" (Thanatos) provides insight into this dynamic. Eros embodies fusion and interconnectedness, while Thanatos represents separation and disintegration. Rather than viewing them as opposing forces, Freud saw them as contrasting forms of life. Eros and Thanatos can exist independently as limited individuals or coexist as a greater whole.
In human relationships, Eros can be understood as any element of fusion. It encompasses the erotic aspect of merging and the symbiotic nature of creation, which involves the destruction of the ego. Individuals who experience separation anxieties from their parents often seek another fusion event with another human being to alleviate those anxieties. For symbiosis with the other to progress, the individual must dissolve their ego and surrender themselves to the process. Dysbiosis or the breaking of the bond between partners often leads to cyclical anxieties. Individuals with schizoid tendencies may engage in short-term relationships as a defense mechanism or self-preservation strategy, but these habits can leave them lonelier and more anxious. The life of a schizoid is often characterized by monotony and a lack of connection with others.
Love and Eros can be seen as unleashed demons by Aphrodite. When in love, humans become less conscious of their own identities and the journey they are embarking upon. It is akin to the fusion of a male anglerfish with a female or the merging of bacteria and archaea. In a state of symbiosis, we cannot predict whether the relationship will be mutualistic, commensal, or parasitic. Like bacteria, we may lack the higher consciousness to foresee that fusion with another human being can lead to the creation of a more complex life form. However, as humans, we possess an enlightening consciousness that empowers us to choose the type of symbiosis we wish to engage in, aiming for a fusion that can transcend us. While some fusions may ultimately fail, we should not reject them as part of our journey. There is no denying that both Eros and Thanatos are potent and unstable forces of nature that may or may not contribute to a greater sense of self. In Being and Time (1962), Heidegger explores the question: how can we be who we are if who we are is always happening and evolving, over time?
Further Readings
Hamilton, E., & Cairus, H. The Collected Dialogues of Plato, 1973.
Freud, S. (1955). Beyond the pleasure principle. In The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, Volume XVIII (1920-1922): Beyond the Pleasure Principle, Group Psychology and Other Works (pp. 1-64).
Laing, R. (2010). The divided self: An existential study in sanity and madness. Penguin UK.
Heidegger, M., Macquarrie, J., & Robinson, E. (1962). Being and time.