To my hotpot baby daddy

I wish we’ll continue to treat each other with kindness and gentleness, albeit sadly scarce in our childhood, for the remainder of our lives. There is already too much cruelty and evil in this world and damn it, I do not want to add more to it! I am not made to be rough and tough. I crave and live for softness. We need people who can provide us comfort and safety, allow us to be vulnerable without judgment, and make an effort to understand our thoughts and emotions, even though we find it difficult to understand them ourselves. We need people who communicate clearly and with good intentions. Those who can allow your poor nerves some rest when all you've been used to was to walk on eggshells and remain on guard to protect yourself.

I admire the way you love me. I know you had it worse than I did, and the extent of your pain and hardships might remain a mystery forever. You don’t talk about it that much, but that is fine with me. Because despite those things, you are still able to love. And when you love, you love deeply, genuinely, purely. Lucky me, you make me feel like I deserve to be loved in your own perfect way. You are living proof that someone can still be kind and warmhearted even though the world has been unkind to you. And you never stopped being the way you are even though you get shamed for it, and it has deemed you weak. Never have you cursed at me, hurt me in anger, or made me cry on purpose. You let me sit through my emotions and feel them as it is, which I was always discouraged in my early years. Unlike me, you are not afraid to feel things. These goddamn emotions. They can be uncomfortable, complicated, inconvenient, or just plain stupid. But they can also be wonderful and make it seem like life is worth living, even just for a short while. And kids, you gotta allow yourselves to feel. Open your heart to it, all the good and the ugly.

I am still in the process of accepting and validating my emotions, not just for myself but for you, too. Because you deserve the same openness you have for me, and it is what we owe to each other.

Also, you got good dick game, so that makes me love you even more.

Yours always,

Charlie