Breaking taboos

Woman Descending the Staircase (Frau die Treppe herabgehend), 1965 by Gerhard Richter

Challenging taboos can be a cathartic experience. In fact, it can be seen as a mental exercise, a means to shake the foundations of collective thinking. It only takes a small trigger—a mundane event, a minor inconvenience, or a simple act—to ignite a fire that threatens the security blankets of morality, religion, and societal norms. Now, I am by no means an advocate for anarchy, but we should acknowledge the significance of those who dare to question and disrupt, for they remind us that chaos and destruction are inherent aspects of the natural world, independent of human influence. Those who struggle to accept this notion should perhaps examine the state of their own minds. Are they part of the legion of fearsome automatons who have never experienced a personal crisis? Until recently, I struggled to comprehend the existence of such individuals. Do they not ponder the mysteries of rainbows, the twinkle of stars, the pleasure of sex, the very act of breathing, or their own existence? Perhaps they do, but often they seem to abandon the pursuit of answers, content with biblical explanations and a blind acceptance of the status quo. Perhaps that is where my affliction lies—I am never content. I possess an insatiable impulse to comprehend even the most trivial matters. Yet, it is not the trivial matters themselves that truly matter; rather, it is the act of understanding them that holds significance. Reading books alone will never satiate this hunger. I must immerse myself in the world, engaging all my senses, living fully, in order to truly grasp why things matter. Because, at some point, they will matter. And they will only matter when we rise above passivity and declare ourselves active participants in the game of life. Life has been waiting for us to seize it by the throat, to confront whatever obstacles obstruct our path. Let's face it, we have only one life to live, and it is our duty to honor it by striving to be the best versions of ourselves, whatever that may entail.

I made a promise to D that, before she takes my life (or before I take my own), despite the inevitable, I will endeavor to embrace every moment of existence with utmost vitality. I want to leave her awestruck in the face of my lifeless body, compelling her to utter the words, "Rest in peace, S. You lived life to the fullest. It was a privilege to witness your journey."