Jizel

by Anna Atkins

Jizel possesses a rich chocolate complexion, and her well-toned muscles exude strength and smoothness. She adheres to a strict daily regimen, rising early in the morning for a vigorous sprint or a session of 50 burpees and push-ups. Her active lifestyle is complemented by a diet focused on protein and greens, which is evident in her radiant complexion and vibrant personality. She holds high standards when it comes to dating and expresses a disdain for our male co-workers, referring to them as "whiny boy toys who revel in snakes and orgies." Above all, she cannot tolerate Adam and believes I should have been aware of his true nature. Curious, I inquired about her dislike for him, and she revealed her aversion to individuals who conceal their arrogance and hostility beneath a facade of friendliness and innocence. She saw through him effortlessly, and I regret not heeding her warning. Jizel is also unforgiving of those who present themselves as weak and pitiful to manipulate others, asserting that men are easily deceived by calculating women. However, she proudly proclaims that she is immune to such tactics.

Beneath Jizel's strong demeanor, however, I perceive the walls she has erected around her hardened muscles and the subtle hints of her hidden pain. People often mistake her strength as invincibility, failing to recognize the delicate and tender nature she possesses, much like an unopened bud nestled amidst thorns and boulders. Women, regardless of their appearance, bear vulnerabilities and insecurities. When we say, "I don't need a man's protection," what we truly mean is, "I don't need the protection of a wuss." We, like Jizel, will always feel threatened, even if we outwardly display strength and resilience.

Ever since I met Jizel, I've been more attuned to the ways people, specifically women, express pain. Pain doesn't always scream or make bold statements. On the contrary, pain is often quiet—quiet as the breeze whispering secrets to the cycads, quiet as a steady stream sloshing down a hill, quiet as two shadows rubbing elbows at each other.

Pain is deafening when it is mute, and discomforting when it is numb. The best way to know if a person is still ok is if s/he could still sleep or if s/he could still react to sad movies. If otherwise, then s/he's most likely already dead inside.